Hidden Palms pilot clip: Alan's back is famous!
Anikó's in the newspaper today. Business section. Hm.
[...] In her native Hungary, Indio resident Anikó J. Bartos held CFO-level positions with small companies for several years. But since coming to America in 2000 and becoming a U.S. citizen - and even after learning English and earning a new social science-accounting degree with high honors - she's having problems landing an appropriate full-time position.
"Despite several short-term and seasonal (tax preparation) assignments over the past two years, I still cannot find my place in this job market," Bartos, 54, said earlier this week.
"I'm still optimistic that I will find something," she added. "But I'd really like to find a job that makes use of my expertise." [...]
Dances With Chimps, Scene 3
LT. JOHN DUMBELL: So what do your people call me?
STANDS WITH A FART: Roughly translated, Dances With Chimps.
CHEETOE THE TALKING CHIMP: Hey! Is that a slam?!
STANDS: No, not at all - we saw you two doing the Lambada at that hot new Sweaty Palms disco, and we assumed you were a couple.
DUMBELL/CHEETOE (simultaneously): Uh-uh, no way, we're not gay!
DUMBELL: We're just a coupla lonely cowpokes who stayed on the mountain and stared at the sheep a bit too long.
STANDS (snuggling in close to Dumbell): Does that mean you like to dance with girls, too?
CHEETOE: It's okay, Dumbell. Do what you have to do. I'll just go hang around the monkey bars.
To be continued...
High Court Allows Lethal Shot Challenges (AP): The Supreme Court opened the door Monday to new constitutional challenges to lethal injection [...] In an unanimous decision, the court allowed those condemned to die to make last-minute claims that the chemicals used are too painful - and therefore amount to cruel and unusual punishment in violation of the Constitution's Eighth Amendment.
Meanwhile: Saudi Arabia Beheads Man for Murder (CBS): Saudi beheadings are carried out with a sword in public to serve as a deterrent. The kingdom beheaded 83 people in 2005 and 35 people in 2004.
Dances With Chimps, Scene 2
LT. JOHN DUMBELL: Whaddaya say we erect some tall buildings in downtown Sweaty Palms, just to rile up the locals?
CHEETOE THE TALKING CHIMP: You're a kamikaze, Dumbell. Or maybe vice versa.
FLIPPING BIRD (subtitled): You need a girlfriend, Lieutenant. Keep you out of trouble.
DUMBELL: Sounds good to me. Any candidates? (Flipping Bird signals to a nearby woman, who stands up, emitting a noise like a loud foghorn.)
CHEETOE: Wow. Impressive sound effects.
DUMBELL: Pretty gal, too. What's her name?
FLIPPING BIRD (subtitled): Stands With A Fart.
DUMBELL (passing some gas himself): I think I'm in love.
Dances With Chimps, Scene 1
LT. JOHN DUMBELL (sitting in the sparse shade of an ocotillo): Cheetoe, we've journeyed long and hard to reach this godforsaken desert.
CHEETOE THE TALKING CHIMP (lounging under a nearby palm tree): Bwana, it's only a hundred miles east of LA. But... whatever.
FLIPPING BIRD (subtitled, lounging next to Cheetoe): Why doesn't he come in out of the sun?
CHEETOE: These crazy palefaces are heavily into S&M. Mostly M.
DUMBELL: Geez, it's hot. I'm gonna call this place Sweaty Palms.
FLIPPING BIRD (subtitled again): Did it ever occur to you that we might already *have* a name for our oasis?
DUMBELL: Doesn't matter. Here's a bunch of cash. I'm buying half this valley from your tribe, in a checkerboard pattern. It'll make swell golf courses. Let's drink some firewater, to seal the deal.
FLIPPING BIRD (still subtitled): Careful, Kemo Sabe. If you offer alcohol to my people, we'll offer your people blackjack.
Nota Bene: This is satire. Or attempted satire. If you see any resemblance to real people—living, dead, or retired—it might signal the onset of sunstroke. Check with your aromatherapist.
"The Daily Dish of Cosmopolitan Budapest": Hungarian blog Pestiside.hu called Alan an American Blog Pioneer yesterday...